Breaking

Breaking

Indifferent I am for my thoughts have no conclusion as I stand confound in my minds attack.

Questions come to thought in multitude, though answers I seek may never be found, forcing me two steps back.

Befuddled soul, quizzical mind, and grieving heart stand to question what is, what was, and what is to come of futures unknown.

What was is everything I wish never again be brought to present; present days show how much I have grown.

Past full of mistakes causes distress to what’s present as hidden memories loudly come unglued.

I lived through a self-seeking war before I beneficially aged, always putting myself in danger and pushing away those whom loved me by instigating a continual feud.

With promising notions I plead you to find it in yourself to see the woman I was in past is not what molds my being today. New strength embraces me as I portray a woman I always knew I would be someday.

I am not confessing self without fault but only that lessons of past I have learned to try and accept.  

Burdening my soul, I carry weight of my past and without failure I find to be haunted by a woman who from my loved ones I must protect.

Laying soundlessly my memories creep in reminding me of what I dare not speak.

Holding you back from experiencing such pain is a goal I wish to keep.

  Seemingly, I find I am haunted by those distant memories when life finds me in a peaceful place.

Life newly found leaves me in awe as I bow my head in pray to thank my saving grace.

I have grown from my past faults, though forgiveness within myself is something I have not.

I write to understand where I stand in this mess and watch as my words unravel hidden memories I have for so long fought.